BOOKS
Posted by Govind Nanji on Sunday, November 22, 2009
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Bertrand Russel went for a swim with a friend. They were in their birthday suits. When they came out of the water, some ladies saw them. His friend covered up his genitals in shame, but he covered his face. When asked, he said that the ladies would recognize them from his face rather than other parts.
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Did you know that Newton was also head of the mint? Anyone caught pilfering was hanged.
Sir Charles Sherrington, the famous physiologist at Liverpool had finished the day's work at his laboratory where he worked with monkeys. To get out of the bulding, he had to go downstairs and then exit. A thought occured to him as he took the steps, what did the monkeys actually do when he left for the day?
He quietly sneeked back, and found the keyhole in the door. He aligned his eye with the keyhhole and peeped through it. When his eye was exactly in line, he looked with one eye of course. What he saw was amazing- an eye was looking at him from the inside!!! Obviously, a monkey in the lab had the same curiosity!
WITHOUT INSECTS, THE WORLD WOULD PERISH IN FIFTY YEARS. WITHOUT MANKIND, THE WORLD WOULD FLOURISH.
Does anyone remember the remarkable old Indian movies, that have no equal in my mind.
In Nairobi, there was Filmindia, Green Cinema, and on sundays, Empire theatre. Other days, Empire theatre and others played snooty western movies. If you went there, it was odd that many in the audience, mostly students, drank from cans of condensed milk! I do not know what they enjoyed most, the milk or the movie.
Now Charlie, a thin man, three piece suit, would carry a board with him some distance from Filmindia, and proceed to write, in his beautiful writing, generally Gujarati. By the way, he had a long red fez on with a black pom pom about 5 inches long on top and it flitted around as he moved his head. He would describe the new movie in detail after giving its name etc. The theatres used to go full, and occasionally there were fights at the window with some disgruntled customers.
Anyway, the movies. There are too many, but the following is a list:
Anmol Gadhi (a pricesless watch)- with Mumtaz Shanti and people's heart throb, Dilip Kumar. There was Pakhija, Shakuntala, (the original poem was written by Kalidas), Dr. Cotnis (he worked in China). The famous actors wife was Jayshree- a very beautiful girl), Ratan, Maugal-e-Azam, Shikari, Shaheed and many more.
Even the actors and actresses were something- Dilip Kumar, Raaj Kapoor, and the many Kapoors that followed, Sohrab Modi, Vikramaditya, Rehana, Mumtaz Shanti, Ashok Kumar, Suraiya, Lila Chitnis, Meena Kumari (it is said that she never touched a man in any of the movies- hard to believe nowadays).
Also, no relation, Charlie's ice cream shop was on the corner of River Road and Reata Road. that shop had the best 'Faluda' I ever tasted. Do you know what the ingredients were?
Singers like Mohamed Rafi, and music of Naushad can never be equaled. Lata Mangeshker (and Asha Bhosle, her sister) stand out. No one has recorded more songs that Lata Mangeshkar.
I shall never forget it. I was having ice cream in Charlie's shop, when I heard a commotion. I went out to see what was going on. It was a ghastly site. A muslim gentleman, in clean clothes and a shervani- a long black coat, was trying to board a bus to go home. The bus was overfull, and he could not have had a good grip. He fell, and the tyre had run over his had. The head was crushed, and there were parts of the brain on the road. One can only imagine the tragedy as the family were awaiting his arrival, only to learn later that he had departed this world in a very violent fashion.
Sunday today. Wife cooking mouth watering parathaa ane shaak. some treat! And to top it, Indian chai. Now, if I like and can work with the computer and understand it as much as she likes cooking, I have nothing to fear.
DINGBAT = DIGNITY BATTALIONS. I BELIEVE NORIEGA HAD THESE IN PANAMA
DARE I SAY IT '*UCK'- FORNICATION UNDER CONSENT OF KING- was used in Engloand. sign to say that a poor person can do whatever to get his wife prgnant, and th esign had to be on the door!
CRAFT- 'CAN'T REMEMBER A F. THING' - happens often to authors.
Quite often we hear the phrase, specially from children, 'I am bored'. With all that is around us, how can we be bored. I have theory, 'if you bored, then you must be boring, or do something that will unbore you'. It brings the desired effect. Am I right?
Thanks to the internet, the number of visitors to the site are growing. Internet knows no barriers, no walls, and puts out a hand that anyone can grasp and shake in return, as a sign of friendship, give and take of ideas etc thus elevating the shaker and the shakee.
A dirth of comments from you. would love to know who you are, where you live, and what it is that you do, and made you visit this site.
If you are computer challenged like I am, you can always write a comment to me at govind32@hotmail.com or govindbhadresa@yahoo.com
Thank you for visiting this site, and make sure you look at the 'Books' section as I intend to update it soon.
There was a young man in India who lived with his mother in a village. They were dirt poor. The poverty was unrelenting and dragged on for some time. They were exasperated, so he sought his mother's permission to go somewhere and look for a job. She agreed and with her blessing he left her and walked towards the town looking for a job.
As he walked, he saw a factory making beer (or, somesuch). Well he went inside and inquired about getting a job. He was hired immediately.
He worked hard the place. He just worked, and worked. The management was impressed. After sometime, he thought of his poor mother. He asked leave for a few days. It was granted, not only that, but he was given a small pitcher of beer to take it along, and drink from it whenever he was thirsty.
He started back. After a while, the sun shone,and got brighter and brighter, and the day was promising to be hot. He thought 'would it not be ice to stop for a drink', but then he tought, it is no use unless you have company.
From a distance he saw a man approaching. 'Perfect', he thought. He asked the man if he would care to stop for a drink with him. The man said, sure he would.
Out of curiosity, he asked the man who he was, and what he did.
The man said, 'I AM GOD'. To this, our friend got all excited, and informed him that if that were true, he certainly would not have drink with. On asking why, he told him that all the troubles of the world were on his shoulders- poverty, wealth, sickness, death, inequality etc. So the man said goodbye without a drink. Then he saw another man, and another, and he found faults with all of them. Until he saw a man and asked for the same thing. He asked him who he was before they proceed with a drink.
The man said 'I am Jum' (Jum is the man who looks after death in the whole world). Our friend was very happy, and thought that the man was very reasonable. He did not care if someone was rich or poor, old or young, etc. so all were equal in his eyes. So they had a drink together and quenched their thirst.
Jum was very happy, and on parting, he said, 'You have made me very happy today, so I will bless you. The pitcher you have will always remain full and will never empty out. Not only that, but a drink from it will heal the sick. One caviat. You and only you will be able to see me. If you see me at the head of a sick man, you will cure that person. If you see me at the foot of the bed, shake your head and say the person will die.'
The boy reached home to see his mother and all was well. Slowly he became famous as a good vaid (Doctor) as he could cure many very sick people.
One day the princess was sick. She was the daughter of a famous king. He doted on her. All kinds of treatments were tried without avail. Then he heard of the young man, who was summoned to cure the princess. He had also announced that whoever cures the princess will marry her and get half of his kingdom.
(The story is long, so I will continue next visit, but will also let your imagination run wild).
To continue,
The young man was summoned. He was immediately escorted to the bed where the sick princess was lying. He pretended to do an examination, but noted rather unfortunately that Jam was lying at the foot of the bed. He was in a quandry, as to what to do. The pleasure of marrying the princess and getting part of the kingdom was hard to resist. Opportunity presented itself when he noted that Jam was drowsy and was nodding off to sleep 'Jola khato hato'. He winked at the servants and the bed was quietly and rather quickly turned around. At the same time, he gave a drink to the princess. She woke up all refreshed and also very healthy. She kissed and thanked him. The king was happy.
(Does the young man live to enjoy his booty? I will tell you later). but in a different column as this sure is not short and sweet.
Also, I feel that a lot of our young men need to know as to who wrote our holy books, and why. The stories about Valmiki and Tulsidas are so beautiful that all Hindus should know it. My apologies to anyone who can tell it better, but I intend to try tell in my own humble way in the future).
The other day I was thinking and for some reason I was comparing life, a teapot and a door. See what you think, and let me know.
One of my classmates in NRB used to say 'Bekar mubash kutch to kia kar, kutch nahi to kapde fad fad kar sia kar. Same as 'work, work, work' Van Montke of Germany.
The other day I was visiting my s-in-law in Brighton. I had some time to kill, and I saw a local Barber's shop. Went in for haircut. Fourteen ponds plus tips!! Flabergasted. In Canada, a haircut and a beard trim is 15 Dollars! Is Britain out of line or what.
Also, my brother and I visited a Home Depot. A humble Indian gentleman was waiting for saleslady's attention after serving another customer. Finishing with the first customer, she comes to this gentleman and says, 'sir, you have been trying to get my attention when you could see I was serving somebody else. Also, when you talk to me, please look up, and make eye contact!
Such rudeness, only in Britain eh! In Canada she would get the boot. In America, nothing like this is ever seen. Your opinion? Am I wrong?
Is there no end to negativity in the world?
When some say why, I say why not.
Sometimes I wonder why I am writing all this. It is when I think of Sir Seretse Khama who said that a people without a past do not have a future. In a way, the word provide a glimpse of our past and the adventures and risks that many people faced and surmounted them.
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Do you know who 'Vidhata' is? Well, she is a beautifull lady that appears when a child id born. Beautifully dressed in a three quarter length ghaghero, or skirt, blouse and a flowing cloth of silk around the neck, tastefully applied around the neck. Her clothes ar exquisite and glittering. On her ankles are tied the little musical whatnots that go 'chum, chum, chum, chum' as she walks in her most seductive walk. Aparently she is a messenger of God. She appears around midnight. She finds the child, and on its forhead she writes down the whole history of the child- what its destiny is, what it is going to be etc. Thus the child's fate is pre-written and is unalterable. She is generally invisible, but as she leaves, one can hear 'chum, chum, chum' as it becomes more faint and mingles with the rustle of the wind on leaves as we see it here in Canada in the autumn.
All I can say is fear not, you are what you are and what you were going to be. Fret not. YOU NEVER MISSED ANYTHING IN LIFE. IT WAS AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
Same is said of ghosts and goblins (Bhoot, Palit, Chudell etc). I had an uncle in Kenya, Hirji Makan Vaghela- he used to tell me exciting stories, e.g. how the Wanzas, a particular caste', generally tailors, could drop a bird flying in the sky by giving it the evil eye, or, if you ever saw a ghost, and if you can catch its pigtail, cut it off, and, with the same knife, cut a big wound in your thigh, and embed the hair called 'chotli' into the wound, and the ghost will be your slave forever.
There was a female ghost called a 'chudel'. You might see her in the evening, or in some stinky toilets. Never look at her, or you will turn into ashes. What was worse was if she turned her back on you, for it can be a ghastly sight!
These stories are hard to believe, but to a child's mind, they are more than real.