Govind

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FORWARD

 

Unhappiness deserves a passing thought.  The world is full of unhappy people.  In many cases it has no relation to the amount of money that a person has, or to one’s relationship with one’s family, or the environment one lives in etc.  It does not even depend on the religion one follows.  In fact one can have everything and still be unhappy (and, conversely, some people have nothing and are still happy).

While God is universal, the interpretation of ‘HIM’ by the people of different religions and factions is so different that often the practitioners of one religion hate the practitioners of a different one, and at times so much so that they would maim, and even kill those that practice a religion different from their own.  Yet they do all this in the name of ‘GOD’!

The number of suicides, murders, divorces, robberies, cheating, ‘backstabbing’, noncaring, religious hatred, ethnic cleansing etc. is no less than a manifestation of this tragic phenomenon.

All the expressions and opinions expressed in this book are a result of my own personal observations and interpretations, and they may or may not agree with the opinions of many people.  However, I only ask that an open mind is kept by the reader while we unravel this rather perplexing and bewildering phenomenon.

Some of my ideas may appear to be different, and may even appear to be a little offensive on the surface, but maybe they are futuristic and all I can ask once again is that an open mind is kept to the whole scenario, and perhaps one should even try to see it with a ‘crystal ball’.  I have also no doubt that the chaos of today will be replaced by an order whereby ‘Man’ will fulfill his ultimate destiny as a healthy, long living, caring, compassionate, learned, wise, educated, well balanced person and a contributor to society at large, and also a very family orientated person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INTRODUCTION

 

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked“ K.Gibran

 

Have you ever wondered why a baby cries at birth, while the parents and others watching the baby are happy? From the baby’s point of view, leaving a warm comfortable environment of the womb, where all the necessities of life - such as nutrition, constant warmth, getting rid of waste, lack of a multitude of concerns that are necessary even for it’s survival  are suddenly snatched away, and within a few minutes after birth the baby has to make adjustments like breathing, swallowing, feeding, as well as  urinate, defecate etc. in this new and rather strange environment which is in fact thrust on the baby, and these adjustments it has to make within a very short time. No wonder the baby cries!

What about the people that are watching this tiny helpless thing? They are in fact happy that the baby has joined a race of unhappy people, and that brings a great big smile on their faces!  They are in fact very comfortable in the thought that the baby has joined the tradition of being a part of a race of unhappy people. Thus unhappiness starts at birth.

Even after birth, as the child grows up, he (or she) is basically unhappy.  He generally wakes up crying, possibly waking up with the thought that he is waking up in a hostile environment, with the fear that food may not be available, or a familiar face (of mother) may not there, or even other basic comforts of life may not be there.  Of course, in the animal world, it is even worse, as even the life of the young one may be threatened, as the environment may be quite hostile.

Consider a scenario when a long lost friend or a family member meets a person after an interval of some years.  There are the familiar hugs and kisses, accompanied by tears of joy.  Is the person crying because he is happy? This is rather odd, as tears are generally shed in sadness!  In the case mentioned, it is in fact shed because of happiness!  However, the tears are in fact really unmasking sadness which was in the heart.  The reason the person is crying is a purely selfish one.  In fact the subject has missed the person so much so that, on first contact with seeing the person, he consoles his very soul, which initially is desperate and desolate, and hence crying, but on being consoled, is happy. 

Looking deeper into tears that are shed when one is happy, as during a wedding etc., there is an element of unhappiness that can be unraveled using the same methodology (e.g. saying goodbye to a daughter who lives the house and departing for another household.)

It is apparent but rather odd that in crying there can be happiness, and happiness brings forth tears. The tears would appear to be of joy, and not of sadness.

No one is as succinct as.Gibran, when he says:

 

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked”

“And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears”

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain”

“When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy”

“When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall find that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight”

“Together they come (joy and sorrow), and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed”

 

 

If you look at the other end of life, it is even more interesting. Man has a certain life span, say 70 to about 100 years.  When one dies, another reason for an episode for unhappiness is entered into the life of the bereaving family, though the family affected is very genuine and the whole occasion rather touching.  If one truly believes that there is a God, and that there is a heaven, then surely the dead person has gone to the beyond to a better life.  In the place of crying, the family should in fact celebrate, and be happy and even have a party! In fact, one loves to be unhappy, and an excuse is given once again.

In the light of the above, one can nowadays see that quite often people gather together not to cry for the departed but in celebration of the life of the loved person that was amongst the family during his lifespan.

The analogy given here may help to clarify the subject of unhappiness further.

Life can be compared to a ship, starting its journey at a definite point (in terms of time), and also ending at a definite point.  The mighty ocean it navigates upon is an ocean of unhappiness.  The waves that form are those of happiness.  Like happiness, they are temporary and intransigent, but at some of the times can be overwhelming and tumultuous. This can be compared to emotions one may feel and express sometimes.  However, these emotions are temporary, as the ocean underneath has a ‘soothing’ effect on the waves, restoring the state of unhappiness once more.

Carrying the analogy further, one can   and sometimes does modify this ocean of unhappiness and give rise to its waves - the waves of happiness

It is in the understanding of this ocean, and the journey on it, and the obstacles encountered on this mighty ocean that this book is about.  The obstacles are far too numerous, but we will go into some of the main ones as I see it. Once one knows the causes of these obstacles, then one can know how to face and modify or even create some waves of happiness in this long and arduous journey, the journey of life. However, one must realize that the waves created are temporary, and the ocean underlying is that of gloom and doom, and it, in its eventual outcome has the upper hand.

Only great personalities like Moses, Christ, Mohammed, Gandhi, Buddha, Guru Nanak, and Sai Baba were able to change the whole ocean into one of happiness. Not only that, but they showed the path to happiness, but a path that no one is able to follow in its entirety, mainly because the path itself is so arduous and difficult. It can be debated whether these personalities were able to give rise to happiness, as they produced contentment rather than happiness. They also gave feelings of awe, and sometimes fear that one could go to purgatory if the teachings of these great masters are not followed.

The reason for not being able to achieve goals as laid out by the great teachers is simple - basically, by nature, man is unhappy, and is not able to deal with the continuous and austere requirements demanded by some religions to achieve a state of happiness. In other words, he would rather be unhappy than meet with and inculcate the difficult requirements that could produce happiness.

Man is an animal, albeit on top of the chain of evolution, but still has no doubt a long way to go in terms of time.  Many of his instincts, behavior etc. are no better than that of an animal.  Thus in terms of his priorities are food, sex, protective environment such as a roof over his head, preservation of his physical being at all costs, as well as other necessities of comfort and entertainment in the house, and also work which helps him to achieve some of these requirements.  Included are a social life through family, friends, acquaintances, as well as a loyalty and affection for his country of residence.  These provide for his primitive and basic nature of self-preservation, but sometimes it is counterbalanced by an opposing nature, that of self destruction. Examples of these are numerous, such as oneupmanship, living with the Joneses (though it may not be possible financially), and in its more serious aspect as criminality, smoking, alcohol, eating disorders leading to obesity, or Anorexia Nervosa, cheating on the other partner, immorality and a host of other defaults.

Witness even more ills in our society - violence, crime, separation, divorce, multiple mutilating surgeries to our bodies, such as - face lifts, breast augmentation or reduction, tummy tuck, liposuction, cosmetic eyelid surgeries - all these denote an unhappiness that we have within ourselves, or the way we feel as to how the world perceives us.

Many tell us that they are happy, and presumably, the spectrum does include happiness, which is from contentment with regards to a person’s health, wealth, or with the rest of that person’s environment.  However, this is temporary, as thoughts of unhappiness, whether it be due to unruly children, finances, work or problems at home as well as many environmental factors, etc. - all these tend to pull one down and once again make one slide into a state of unhappiness.

If the reader is not already depressed, then take courage and read through this book, and you may understand or even create some waves of happiness.

I came across this, and it is very true:

 

“Happiness is not a place to travel to.  It is a way of getting there.” Anonymous.

 

“To be happy, make someone happy”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER I

 

RELIGIOUS FAITH

 

Man has a state of Morality and a conscience.  He has written his own code of behavior and conduct in his own mind.  Conclusion he has arrived at from his culture- genetic, environmental- whether it is from parents, grandparents, siblings, and people around them.  All these have ideas of their own, some of which they pass along.  The behavior is manifest from a derivation from all these and their beliefs with regard to religion, morality, and how they relate to the environment, whether is the people around, governments, municipalities etc. Despite all of this, he often finds that he cannot meet with his own moral law.  Because of this, he has ‘formed’ an image of a benevolent father in his own mind - a father who forgives him his own wrongdoing and sins (the sins may be true or contrived in his conscience that is feeling guilty for some reason or other).  It is thus immaterial whether a ‘father’ or what we call ‘GOD’ does or does not exist.  If he does not exist, then it is better that MAN invents HIM. Thus GOD can provide him with a peg, a peg where he can unload his own guilty conscience.  It is evident, for these reasons that GOD exists in almost all races of mankind.

Atheists will not believe in the existence of a GOD, and, and assuming that they are correct, then they would be left with a vacuum, and unable to explain creation, in effect creating a void in life.  The life would then appear futile and without a purpose.

It is clear because of this that it is better if Mankind does invent a benevolent master, a caring and forgiving individual, in fact a ‘father’ who rules not only over the universe, but in fact wishes well and cares for all the creatures that dwell in it,  even if such a one was nonexistent.  Thus the concept gives one a sense of responsibility, and makes individuals feel answerable to another and a superior power, as even his conscience he thinks is known by a superior power, as he sees it.  He even thinks that he will be judged and be rewarded according to his behavior in this life.

Thus a belief in the existence of GOD gives one an aura of goodness, purity, morality etc. etc.  It is a pity that teachings of GOD, whether we call him Christ, Krishna, Rama, Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, can and sometimes are misinterpreted, with divisions and factions formed in different religions, or within the religion itself.  This leads to strife, and hate for practitioners of another religion, and in its extreme, leads to violence.  In such cases, the practitioner of one religion asserts that his GOD is better than that of the other one!  This fact becomes obvious when one thinks of the people of Israel, Ireland, India, Czechoslovakia etc.  Mankind, in such cases would be better off if they do not have a religion at all!

GOD himself is a complex character.  The following of some of the teachings attributed to GOD are well nigh impossible.  In some religions it is made simple by the fact that all one’s sins are forgiven if one confesses them. While the austerities to be practiced by some religions, e.g. Hinduism, Islam are something else.  It brings hardship to the practitioners, but the same individual has a strong belief that it will do him good and help to ‘purify’ him.  Even a place with all its benefits would be just for him in the afterlife.

Thus the attainment of contentment, which is a part of happiness, is in some ways simple - belief in GOD as a benevolent master who will continue to maintain contentment even in the face of adversity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER II

 

MARRIAGE

 

Marriage, generally between a Man and Woman is a union of two ‘ships’ that form a pact to travel together on a tumultuous ocean of what they call life.  Promises are made to share together whatever is encountered during the travel - whether it be happiness or unhappiness, as well as for the purposes of procreation etc.  At times the reality of the ocean underneath -that of unhappiness- is temporarily forgotten.  While the joining of the two beings brings along some stability and happiness in the travel, it is also true that the ocean of unhappiness is shared as well.  At times it (unhappiness) can bring up its ugly head and envelop one with calamitous results.  Witness the many marriage and family breakdowns, some with disastrous consequences, not only to the couple but also everyone around, especially the children, the innocents who are the products of these marriages.  These children must be totally bewildered as they are thrown into this ocean of unhappiness at a time when it is really stormy, leading to all forms of antisocial and psychopathic behavior in these children.

It becomes immediately obvious that the stability in a marriage cannot be overemphasized, and that a child needs both the parents for its proper physical and mental growth    and it is essential that there is a stability in the marriage  Only in this environment can a child develop to his or her full potential.

 

 

 

CHAPTER III

 

PARENTHOOD

 

It goes without saying that parenthood is very important in the upbringing of a child.  A child’s character in the early stages is plastic, and it can be molded into its full potential as an upright person, a model citizen and as someone who will contribute greatly to the advancement of society.

Yet how often is it that we see a failure in the relationships of parents and children?

In the case of a divorce, the feelings and even the well being of children is at times ignored or even forgotten by the parents.

Parental abuse, alcoholism, divorce, separation, or the absence of a father in the home - all these can have a profound and negative effect on a child’s mind.  At times it is a wonder that despite all these negative influences, the child grows into an upright person of a good moral character and a good family man.

From all of the above, a question can haunt our mind.  Are parents the right people to bring up children?  At times we are led to believe that parents are the wrong people to bring up children.  This is mainly because many parents themselves lack directionality in their lives, and of course, because of this they are not able to give to their children.  This becomes obvious when one sees different results in their individual children.  Even more surprisingly, a given child becomes an upright citizen even though he lacked a parent, and had no guidance from the other parent, or, in the absence of both the parents, then individuals from a child care agency or a foster home.

Let us therefore reiterate this very seemingly unpalatable       statement;

PARENTS COULD BE THE WRONG PEOPLE TO BRING UP CHILDREN.

As soon as a child is born, the state should take over the care and maintenance of a child (it becomes obvious immediately that it has to be a state that is quite advanced- something not present today). However, it should be pointed out that in some parts of China, even today, children are left in the Kindergarten for a whole week- all day and night, and the parents have visiting rights!.

Very early in life, the child is assessed by the state as to its aptitudes and intelligence, and his (or her) leanings in any particular direction. The child can then be encouraged to go in that direction,  This would then end endless hours of frustration and wastage of time for the particular child who could otherwise be going in the wrong direction-a phenomenon not too uncommon today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER IV

 

FOOD

 

Food is an interesting subject and dear to all of us.  We know that it is an absolute necessity for the sustenance and maintenance of a healthy life.  It is needed by all living things.  We have gone so far as to make it available (if not easily), appetizing, making it tender, warm and presentable.  It has also become a great socializer.

It has also an interesting history.

Man, in the early stages of evolution, was a hunter.  In later stages he started to domesticate the animals that were of use to him, and later came farming, growing food in a larger scale, so as to provide it for larger number of people could be fed.

Observe an animal that has to get its food.  It needs tremendous power as well as stealth. Even then, many times the prey escapes and because of this he has to starve.  It even happens that the animal may starve to death because of this inability to obtain food. When it gets its food, it gorges itself because it does not know where or when the next meal may be available.  It is this sense of insecurity that has continued in the brains of all living things.  This also includes Man.  In Man, the reason for the insecurity is gone, but deep down in his memory, the feeling of insecurity has remained, and therefore he continues to gorge himself, although the need for to gluttony is gone.  Thus, when he sits down to eat, he invariably eats more than what he needs or can digest.  He even eats the wrong kinds of foods, as his decision is made on appearances, i.e. what would be tasty and more appetizing rather than the real nutritional value of the food that he is eating.  This then leads eventually to all kinds of diseases like indigestion, diabetes, obesity, high Blood Pressure etc.  All this can and eventually lead to an early death.  As there is no need for him to go out and hunt, which of course in turn leads to a sedentary lifestyle.

Witness the multitude of restaurants which always insist on feeding you food in large amounts and of course much more than what you need.  The food in it’s variety and presentation can be unbelievable. They will appeal to you with wonderful desserts, wines etc.

What can be the real answer to this problem?  Restaurants should not be allowed to give portions bigger than what a person needs, in terms of quality and calorie requirements.  In fact there should be a strict law, and the restaurant owner fined for providing more than what a person needs.  Only this way can we prevent the many ensuing diseases of gluttony.

Carrying this further, one should learn to cook good, well balanced nutritious meals. (Have you ever seen a thin cook?  They are sampling the delicious dishes as they are making made, and of course dished out by some of the cooks to the people who are watching).  No wonder, not even the audience is  on the thin side, generally!

Carrying this even further, we must also restrict the making of alcohol, and the making of tobacco and its products  should be a relic of the past.  We all know that tobacco is the root cause of many illnesses and even deaths.  In the same vein, we can extend the same arguments for Gun Control.  Guns must be allowed only in the hands of essential personnel like the police, army etc. and no one else. Just by giving a license does not make a person safe!

We must realize many of the so called ‘restrictions’ would be impossible to impose, as our past history tells us that fundamentally there is weakness in people. Even the wearing of seat belts has to be made mandatory when it is known to save lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER V

 

WORK

 

We all work for a number of reasons.  It is done mainly to provide us with the necessities and even the luxuries of life. Yet it is amazing that despite a good part of our life spent in it, a large number are not happy doing it.  In many cases one wonders as to why the given person does not change his job.  The answer lies in the fact that people are unsure about their future if they change their work, and feel that ‘the devil you know is better than the devil that you do not’.  Thus it is only from economic necessity that a person continues with his work.  Thus a good part of one’s life is wasted as one carries on the particular work which is nothing but a drudgery and a destroyer of the very soul that a person possesses.  It would help if one only takes a note from the following saying, the author of which is not known  

 

‘Do what you love, and love what you do and you won’t have to work another day in your life’.

 

It is therefore quite obvious that as a good part of a person’s life is spent working, that that person takes an interest and enjoy his vocation.

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER VI

 

ATTACHMENT-DETACHMENT

 

It would appear that these two are poles apart, and yet they can be found in the same bed.

As the depth of the bond of attachment increases, whether it be to an object, or love for a person, the happiness also increases in proportion, but on a disruption in this bond, an unhappiness follows in its wake, and this is worse the deeper the bond.  It is for this reason that the great masters, like Buddha, advise that one should detach oneself from all worldly attachments; this in effect produces a kind of contentment, whereby there is no unhappiness and presumably no happiness. But surely this is a sad state of affairs, as in the journey of life, it is better to have reached the zenith, whereby one has experienced not only sublime happiness but also unhappiness.

After understanding the above, the question arises as to what is one to do to obtain happiness without falling down the slippery slope of its enemy?   The answer is simple in theory, and that is that one should definitely make progress towards an attachment, but should be aware and in fact cognizant of the fact that this can be the very phenomenon that can produce the opposite effect, and therefore one should be constantly on guard so that the opposite effect, that of unhappiness, is not produced.

Rudyard Kipling has written a beautiful poem called ‘IF’ that points out, by a father to his son, the secrets of a successful life and therefore a rich one. However, I have taken a liberty to alter it slightly, and thus in effect producing a positive effect to produce happiness in the short and treacherous journey; it goes as follows:

 

I KNOW YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHEN ALL ABOUT YOU

ARE LOSING THEIRS AND BLAMING IT ON YOU

I KNOW YOU CAN TRUST YOURSELF WHEN ALL MEN DOUBT YOU

BUT YOU WILL MAKE ALLOWANCE FOR THEIR DOUBTING TOO

I KNOW YOU WOULD WAIT AND NOT BE TIRED BY WAITING

OR, BEING LIED ABOUT, WILL NOT DEAL IN LIES,

OR, BEING HATED,WILL NOT GIVE WAY TO HATING

AND YET WILL NOT LOOK TOO GOOD, NOR TALK TOO WISE

 

I KNOW YOU WILL DREAM-BUT WILL NOT MAKE DREAMS YOUR MASTER

YOU WILL THINK, BUT NOT MAKE THOUGHTS YOUR AIM

I KNOW YOU WILL MEET WITH TRIUMPH AND DISASTER

AND WILL MEET WITH THOSE TWO IMPOSTERS JUST THE SAME

I KNOW YOU WILL BEAR TO HEAR THE TRUTH YOU’VE SPOKEN

TWISTED BY KNAVES TO MAKE A TRAP FOR FOOLS

OR WATCH THE THINGS YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE TO BROKEN

AND WILL STOOP AND BUILD THEM UP WITH WORN OUT TOOLS

 

I KNOW YOU CAN  MAKE ONE HEAP OF YOUR WINNINGS

AND RISK IT ON ONE TURN OF PITCH AND TOSS

AND EVEN IF YOU LOSE, YOU WILL START AGAIN AT YOUR BEGINNINGS

AND WON’T BREATHE A WORD ABOUT YOUR LOSS

I KNOW YOU CAN FORCE YOUR HEART AND NERVE AND SINEW

TO SERVE YOUR TURN LONG AFTER THEY ARE GONE

AND SO HOLD ON WHEN THERE IS NOTHING IN YOU

EXCEPT THE WILL WHICH SAYS TO THEM ‘HOLD ON’

 

I KNOW YOU CAN TALK WITH CROWDS AND KEEP YOUR VIRTUE

AND WALK WITH KINGS AND NOT LOSE THE COMMON TOUCH

AND NEITHER FOES NOR LOVING FRIENDS CAN HURT YOU

AND ALL MEN COUNT WITH YOU BUT NONE TOO MUCH

I KNOW YOU CAN FILL THE UNFORGIVING MINUTE

WITH SIXTY SECONDS WORTH OF DISTANCE RUN

AND THEREFORE YOURS IS THE EARTH AND EVERYTHING THAT’S IN IT

AND-WHICH IS MORE-

YOU WILL BECOME A PART OF A HAPPY HUMAN RACE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER VII

 

ABSENCE OF POSITIVITY

 

As salt is the ingredient that makes the sea salty, the absence of positivity is the ingredient that makes the whole sea of unhappiness bitter.  Yet it is important to realize that it is through no fault of ours that this is so.  In every Man, there is a built in sense of inadequacy, and because of this, he feels that he cannot praise, encourage or admire anyone.  However, he does at times encourage those that are near and dear to him, and astounded and amazed with the result he achieves.

This sense of inadequacy is quite often passed on to all the members of his family.  A child is often criticized, punished or even abused for no reason, and because of this, the child grows up again with the sense of inadequacy, and thus it can pass on from generations to generations.  There is an untold amount of harm that is produced, broken families, stealing, lack of communication from a child, leaving home at an early age, divorce, unhappiness at work, creating enmity with other coworkers etc.

Yet the answer to this dilemma is a simple one.  In the mind of every human being, not only is there a feeling of inadequacy, but also an appreciation of approval and encouragement.  A child, whose actions are approved, and even encouraged, grows up as a confident person, and perhaps a leader.

If we agree with the above, then what is to be our approach in an effort to try to reduce this ocean of unhappiness.  The answer is simple, but the implementation of it at times can be most difficult.

Encouragement should be given, not only to a child, but to people of all ages.  It should be given to persons following all vocations in life.  A lawyer, a doctor, a politician, or even a President would have his chest swell a little when a word of genuine praise and appreciation is given to the person as to the good job he is doing, and he will feel that his work is in fact appreciated, giving him a feeling that he should continue with his good work, or even try to improve it further.  Even a fault can be pointed out, but garnished it with some positivity.

I came across the following rules for a positive living, whose author is unknown:

1.     Look your troubles in the eye.  Problems not faced do not go away.  Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs.  Anticipate each dip and prepare for it.

2.     Never say you can’t, but do say you won’t.  Neither be so discouraged that you quit, nor so stubborn you won’t stop.

3.     For whatever you can no longer do, substitute something else.  There is nothing more refreshing than a good nap, as long as it is followed by waking up.  Find a way to slow down without stopping.

4.     Don’t hide.  If you want your special needs attended to, you have to make them known.  Do not be ashamed of your limitations.

5.     Claim your rights and privileges, such as to refuse to eat more, the privilege of resting, and pacing your activities, the right to assistance, and the privilege of cutting back your work, and so on.

6.     Be humble enough to accept help, and proud enough to ask for it.  Do not be ashamed to ask for what you need.  Accept help graciously.

7.     Always offer a helping hand and a comforting ear.  Stay interested in the world around you.  Concern for others lightens your own concerns.

8.     Put anger, sadness and regret behind you.  It is perfectly O.K. to feel anger at the pain and distress of growing old.  It is not O.K. to stay angry.  It is perfectly O.K. to mourn the closing of the chapters in your life.  It is not O.K. to mourn the rest of your life.  It is O.K. to regret all things you could or should have done differently.  It is not O.K. not to forgive yourself or others.  Don’t let your anger spill into tomorrow.  Look back without regret, and forward without dread.

9.     Always look for the bright side.  We win or lose by how we interpret and react to everything that happens.  Winning is rejoicing in what you have felt.  Loosing is seeing only what you have lost.

10. Take everyday as it comes, and give it all you’ve got.  The thing to be afraid of is not what you fear, but letting the fear from going on.

11. Enjoy what each day brings.  Be open with wonder and excitement to new experiences even though these come with decline.  Enjoy the ride down, even though you know there is no going back up.

12. Stir up the tiger in your tank.  Your body will be the same old jalopy, but life will have more oomph and satisfaction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER VIII

 

AGING

 

Imagine a car starting a journey.  The car is a spanking new one with all the parts working.  The road is long, not quite straight, but is never ending.  The car starts and goes on this road with one condition-it must go on and on but is allowed small stops.  The stops are for refueling, getting rid of discharges etc.  Repairs are to be carried out as it moves.  Some parts, like a tire, or other functioning part, if available, can be used for a replacement.  At the end of the journey, it will come across a cliff, when it will fall into oblivion.

Let us compare this to the human body.  It undertakes this journey on the road of life when it is born, and it, in its eventual outcome, will fall down a cliff, and therefore disappear.

What are the conditions for it to move along smoothly and without a hitch?  It will move better if the road is kept clear of obstructions, like potholes etc.  This has a similarity to keeping the mind clear and shedding unnecessary garbage.  As the engine has to be kept in good running order, so must the body, with exercise, good food, adequate rest etc. Defective parts must be repaired or replaced as soon as possible, such as the appendix, heart, treatment of numerous disorders, etc. By following these edicts, the cliff is moved further away, and the journey itself made pleasurable.

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER IX

 

SEX

 

We should stop and think as to what was the idea of sex in its origin.  The answer is simple- propagation of the species.  The conjugation of the two partners was made heterosexual, so that a continuation and variation of a particular species is produced.  Because of the rate of attrition is high in some species, larger number than necessary are produced, which guarantees a survival of the species.  However, there must be an attraction between the opposite sexes, hence many forms of attraction are contrived and are already present, and the act itself was made pleasurable.

Let us now see how mankind has twisted the whole thing.  While reproduction is put in abeyance, the pleasurable aspect of it is heightened.  Thus articles such as condoms as well as many birth control devices and birth control pills have come into being.  It is just as well, as he has overcome and controlled the unnecessary multiplication of his numbers even though the act of copulation itself is continued.  However, we must realize that sexuality between any couple is different.  Often, one of the partners does not see any further need for sex as the primary function has been performed.  Thus a partner does not respond well to any demands placed on his or her person, and obviously conflicts ensue.  We all know ‘I have a headache’ actually means!  Looking outside the boundaries of marriage by one of the partners leads to unhappiness and many a times a disaster.

There is no doubt that even now the ‘sexual revolution’ is proceeding at breakneck speed.  However, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, as well as people’s morality will take a part in this revolution. An even better method of Contraception has to be invented.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER X

 

DISEASE

 

There are many diseases, but we can divide them into two kinds for the sake of discussion here.

The first kind is the one that is self induced, either knowingly or unknowingly.  Thus obesity, heart diseases and high blood pressure, cigarette induced cancer, aids etc. come to mind.

The second one is the one that comes without any reason.  Here we can think of various types of cancer, many of the autoimmune diseases, arthritis, heart disease etc.

In either case, the afflicted person wonders as to why he was chosen for such a mishap.  In later stages, as the disease progresses, there is an acceptance of the tragic disorder.

We often hear the phrase “He fought courageously” against the disease.  There is really no fight involved.  The way a person deals with disease is rather multifactorial.  Because of the inherent desire of all living things to want to live as long as possible, all forms of approaches are made to eradicate or reduce the disorder.  An advanced society offers better ways for anyone to confront the disease.  In a backward society, there may be no recourse, and one succumbs to the disease early in its manifestation, no matter how hard he puts up the “fight”.

As disease produces a disturbance of the mind, and therefore unhappiness, it is imperative that it should be averted as much as possible.  Thus a good balanced diet, proper exercise, rest, avoidance of stress, come immediately to mind.  Although it is possible to lead a healthy lifestyle, many give only a passing lip service to it.  One sees the illeffects of ignoring this dictum in many a person.  Once again, the door is opened- the door to illhealth, and therefore to unhappiness; but when this is in one’s bed, (rather unknowingly at the beginning), then this new bed partner is not liked at all.

Though diseases come, and many of them do not have a reason for their appearance, a good medical system helps one to surmount this seemingly insurmountable problem.  If the particular presenting disease is conquered, then once again mental and physical equilibrium is restored to the previous level. On the other hand, in the case of an incurable disease, it continues with the result that, unhappiness becomes a constant companion, not only for the sufferer, but to the people around the afflicted.  For the people who were with the person who eventually comes to his demise, it is a continuation of their own unhappiness, once again for them in their own  journey of life and it behooves them to continue to find an answer to their own dilemma.

It is mainly because of suffering and not knowing of the eventual outcome, that many charlatans come into the picture, making a comfortable living for themselves, thank you. It happens rather surprisingly even in the so called ‘advanced societies’, mainly because the victim of the disease wants to leave ‘no stone unturned’ in a quest to overcome the disease, and to put up a ‘good fight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XI

 

EXERCISE

 

We all know that exercise improves health, and gives one a feeling of well being, and therefore a factor that adds on to a reduction of unhappiness.  If we agree with this surmise, then why is it that many of us are reluctant to do it.  Is it just laziness, or a manifestation of the ‘self destruction’ that we talked about earlier.  However, there is no doubt that it is beneficial, and must be indulged into by all of us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XII

 

ENVIRONMENT

 

No one can deny the enormous influence the environment has to human health and therefore happiness.  While the environment at home or even one’s country is important, in today’s age, it has to be considered globally.  What is happening in China or India will affect the United States or Canada soon afterwards.  The pundit’s are already warning about global warming, while disasters of a proportion unknown is happening almost everyday.  It sometimes numbs the mind and one generally tend to look the other way, thus blotting out a particular tragedy from one’s life.

Perhaps we should consider the Air we breathe, the water we drink, and the earth we tread on;  the pollution we create, and how it affects the planet that we live on.  The invention of fire has indirectly added to this disaster.  Although we will look at them individually, it has to be recognized that they are inter related and what happens to one does have an influence on all the others.

AIR :- Air is an essential commodity to all living things, whether on land or in the water.

Air pollution is going on at unprecedented amounts.  The letting out of all forms of noxious substances like lead, carbondioxide, carbon monoxide, and many others from our internal combustion engines, aircraft, factories, boats and ships; methane emissions from all living things as well as emissions from smoking of cigarettes (it is said that many thousands of chemicals as well as about forty carcinogens are inhaled or blown out into the air during the process of smoking by an addict), cigars and pipes, and many others too numerous to mention, and add that to the fact that we are busy cutting the very suppliers of oxygen, the trees in inordinate numbers. The poisons that are put out into the air must be many tons each day!.  All this is slowly choking us, as well as contributing to global warming.

WATER: The pollution from the above sources affects water eventually. Add to that are compounds like arsenic, cyanides, Mercury, disasters with crude oils etc. that are accidentally or otherwise unloaded into rivers and  oceans etc. are phenomenal.  Lake Victoria is even now strangles by the growth of Hyacinth, the weed that strangles all form of boating, and has curtailed the living of the fishermen living in that area. The growth of this weed being promoted by Phosphates and Nitrates used heavily by farmers and which are in use all over the world, along with herbicides, while cities are busy killing Mosquitoes with DDT and other poisons sprayed into the air.

Incidences of Cancer, Leukemia, and other diseases being common in certain well defined areas of the world is but a harbinger of further disasters to come. Even glaring examples of massive pollution, as in the case of the ‘love canal’, or certain factory sites in Nova Scotia has done nothing to open our eyes. Even suicides by a large number of whales and similar sea creatures could possibly due to the pollution that is preventing these God’s creatures from breathing, and maybe they just chose a way out, that is suicide.

According to Maurice STRONG ‘The earth’ as we know it has less than 30 years to survive if we continue our destructive course. It’s solution as he calls it :

 

 

PRINCIPLES OF EARTH CHARTER

 

-Respect Earth and life

-Care for the community of life in all its diversity

-Strive to build free, just, participatory, sustainable and peaceful societies

-Secure Earth’s abundance and beauty for present and future generations

-Protect and restore the integrity of Earth’s ecological system, with special concerns for biological diversity and the natural process that sustain and renew life

-Prevent harm to the environment as the best method of ecological protection, and when knowledge is limited, take the path of caution

-Treat all living beings with compassion and protect them from wanton destruction

-Adopt patterns of consumption, production and reproduction that protect and safeguard Earth’s regenerative capacities, human rights and community well being

-Ensure that economic activities support and promote human development in an equitable and sustainable manner.

-Eradicate poverty, as an ethical, social, economic and ecological imperative.

-Honor and defend the right of all persons, without discrimination, to an environment supportive of their dignity, bodily health and spiritual well-being

-Advance world wide the co-operative study of ecological systems, the dissemination of and application of knowledge and the development, adoption and transfer of clean technologies.

-Establish access of information, inclusive participation in decision making, and transparency, truthfulness, and accountability in governance.

-Avoid and promote gender equality as a prerequisite to sustainable development.

-Make the knowledge, values and skills needed to build just and sustainable communities an integral part of formal education and lifelong learning for all.

-Create a culture of peace and co-operation

                               --Where on earth are we going?

CHAPTER XIII

 

THE SIXTH SENSE

 

Apart from the five obvious senses that Man is blessed with, is there also another one, the one that is there but cannot be defined?  Is there anything to what Oprah Winfrey  calls the ‘spirit’, or some claim that there is in fact an angel watching over the well-being of a particular person?  Why does it excite the imagination when one sees the TV program called ‘Touched by an angel’?  Why does one encounter a scene, or a particular person, and feel in one’s inner core that one has been in that situation before?  The phenomenon that is referred to as ‘de ja vous’.

If the above is true, then this is the extra sensory perception that we are talking about here.  It would then appear that there is an outside source that cares for, and promotes the well-being, and even the happiness of a person. Can one then leave it to the other ‘being’ to care for providing happiness for a person.

Stretching our imagination even further, we all know many examples of individuals that have faced bad luck, (as being stricken with a car accident, or cancer or suchlike),  so much so that one feels that it has almost been ordained for that family or person just to be unlucky.  We know of car accidents that have wiped out whole families, or, if a member of that family is left behind, then that person’s life also ends tragically.

It would appear from this that no matter how much a person looks for happiness, he might not find it, and conversely, happiness may be a person’s lot though he has made no efforts to look for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XIV

 

BOREDOM

 

Consider the case of a person who retires at the age of around 65 Yrs. He has worked hard all his life, and has saved enough money to survive upon. His house is now paid for, and the children have left home. (They say that true retirement comes when not only have the children have left home, but also the fact that the family dog dies!).  But unfortunately, and this happens in many cases, that he dies!  It is not possible to say exactly as to what the cause is, but one can assume that upon retirement, he is no longer wanted, and he feels unwanted.  Boredom takes over.  He finds that no longer is there a need to be dressed well, and to leave for his office in good time. He may tend to overeat, and also at irregular times.  Even the quality of his food may deteriorate.  All this leads to a downward path of disaster.

The answer to this dilemma is obvious, at least in theory.  Long before retirement, the person should see it coming, and be ready for it whichever way is the best for him.  He should follow the path he chose, and continue to feel ‘wanted’ and be active in the field of his choosing.

CHAPTER XV

 

MANY FACES OF TRUTH

 

We can ask ourselves here if there is such a thing as an absolute truth.  Something regarded as a truth can be an absolute lie, but the person seeing the ‘truth’ has in fact got ‘blinders’ on his eye.  As an example, one may look at the people of India and Pakistan.  Each one sees the area of Kashmere as belonging to their country, and are convinced of it.  Thus many forms of misunderstandings give rise to ill feelings and even violence because of the misinterpretation of truth.  There is no doubt that even in Truth there are  many gradations.  If mankind can only get a hold on the real truth, not as one sees it, but what it is in fact, then there can be happiness in all races, colors, ethnicity etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XVI

 

CHAOS AND ORDER

 

Let us allow our imagination go wild and see what we can come up with.  I am sure in the following chapter, many assumptions are made, and, in fact, may have no resemblance to reality.

In the beginning on this earth was in chaos.  As this mass separated from the body of the Universe some billions ago, there was chaos.  Eventually the seas formed, and there was water everywhere.  Land formed later on as the waters receded.  Life formed, initially in water, and the creatures that developed, eventually ventured onto land.  These needed water as well as land, the so called ‘Amphibians’.  Eventually, land creatures formed, and the ultimate formation was that of ‘Man’.  Man is even now, in the early stages of his full development.   Thus, order is coming from chaos.

Let us consider the ether that surrounds us.  We are constantly bombarded by all forms of radiation.  Light rays only form a narrow range of the spectrum that surrounds us.  Light itself consisting of the different colors of the spectrum, but beyond this, we have the Ultraviolet, the Infra red, and beyond, the X Rays, Sound waves. Even beyond this, we are constantly bombarded by cosmic rays, gamma rays, neutrinos, microwaves, as well as the waves that carry wireless,  Television,  radar, etc. etc.  We are also surrounded by Oxygen, Nitrogen, Carbon-dioxide etc.  It is truly amazing, that despite such chaos all around us, we manage to survive quite well.

How does order come from this chaos.  Consider Lasers of all types- by the fact that we have made these waves coherent, all following in unison, as well as forming a single direction, we form Lasers, a phenomenon not seen in nature.

We have produced wirelessness, as in phones, televisions etc., and we have only begun to ‘scratch the surface’.

From haphazard ways of producing food, we have stream lined the process, so that a larger amount is produced.  By adding Antibiotics, Steroids. And even Genetically modifying foods, Man will slowly but surely eliminate hunger.

Thus order will replace chaos. Poverty, hunger, malnutrition etc. will be eliminated.  Communications will improve so much that Mankind will talk to persons of different nationality, culture, religion, ethnicity, and will therefore understand eachother better. The unnecessary poison that exists today will be replaced by an elixir, an elixir of life, and therefore happiness, demonstrating all that is good and great in Mankind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XVII

 

HURTING OTHERS

 

The phenomenon of hurting and being hurt is a curious one. It is odd that even when a person does not even intend to hurt, is misinterpreted, and the subject is unnecessarily hurt.  However, gossip, malicious talk does occur, leading to hurt feelings, and an unhappy feeling in the person that was talked to or about whom the words were spoken.  Although it is hard to appreciate, every person encountered also has a positive aspect, and a search for the same can be of benefit to all concerned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XVIII

 

BORDERS THAT SEPARATE COUNTRIES

 

A bird that flies, an animal that runs, and the fish that swims in the ocean have one thing in common- none of them carry a passport with them! Yet man is the only creature that has to have one!

The reasons are many, and some of them will remain for a long time, necessitating this evil.

For time immemorial, land has been the cause for many battles. Because the ideologies of one country may not be in agreement with the above, necessitating for both the countries to draw a border dividing the two countries. The same applies with regards to economy, goods, welfare system etc. This at times is carried out to a ridiculous extent, as in the case of Germany, Austria, Poland etc. This in its wake has left an untold amount of unhappiness, separating families- wives, girlfriends, children etc. When some brave souls have tried to cross these borders, then they do it at the risk of their lives, either being shot at, or jailed etc. This can bring along an untold amount of unhappiness, with retaliation coming from the injured souls.

However, would it not be better to maximize on the differences, and extending a hand of friendship across the border, with the result  that both the parties gain from eachother?

A time must come when Man will be free as a bird, and will not need a passport to go to another area of the world. There will not even be a need to name various countries, as they will be united into one world

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XIX 

 

COMPUTERS

 

In this new millenium, the number of computers and the extent of their use will mushroom to an unprecedented level.  It will be available to everyone, and the tasks they will perform will be truly be phenomenal.

Is this machine really going to bring us happiness?  The answer is an unqualified yes, with certain reservations.

Human thought will travel from one corner of the globe to another within seconds.  Tyrants and others will not be able to vet the incoming messages.  One has to ask, and thinkers of the modern day and thoughts of men in the past will be there.  Thus the human brain will increase its knowledge at an incredible extent.  Great tyrants of the world will be exposed and will fear from reprisals to themselves.  Politicians with a personal agenda will no longer be able to exist in that environment.  They will have no country to run into as their exposure will have preceded into other countries.

Hence, if we leave out the negative aspects of computers, such as the promotion of Pornography, abuse, inter racial conflicts, etc., they can be no doubt that only something positive and great come out of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER XX

 

LOVE

 

“ Start the day with love, spend the day with love, end the day with love.  This is the way to God “

Sri Sathya Sai Baba

 

“Love…if you have it, you don’t need anything else.  If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter what else you have.”

Sir James Barrie

 

Love is when a blind girl marries a deaf  man

 

The word love is heard everywhere.  It is in poems, songs, etc.  Along with ‘baby’, it is heard in many a song.  However, many a times it sounds hollow, and is used as a ruse  to make money.  Often a song would say “I love you”, when the singer does not even know as to who he or she is singing to!

Let us for a moment overlook the superficial aspect of it, and look into the deep meaning of this strange word.

In the ocean of unhappiness, it can indeed bring a tumultuous (if not a Tsunami) wave so almighty that the whole ocean could change.

The word love itself can have many and different connotations.  It is used between two lovers, but it can be of a parent directed to a child, or vice versa.  It can be for a friend, a neighbor, a country of one’s residence etc.  If indeed it is practiced with its true meaning, and as coming from the heart, then the whole world would be a better place, and would prosper to indescribable amounts.  There would be no poverty.  Adequate food and housing would be available to all.  There would be no pollution. The greed of mankind, with its attendant negative aspects, like bribery corruption, avarice, poverty etc. would be absent.  In fact, in the true practice of the word, the whole ocean that we discussed would be absent, and in fact, it would be an ocean of happiness, more than that of contentment, or that of the absence of  wanton destruction, unnecessary material desires etc.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes has said ;

‘Love is the key that opens the Gates to happiness’.

We may end our discussion here, but this final chapter is the most important.  All the previous chapters can be wiped out with one stroke, if one were to listen to and put into practice this very simple fact (the application of LOVE}, in a true and sincere fashion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CONCLUSION

 

As it becomes clear that there are many factors that can cause unhappiness.  I have only scratched the surface, and the reader can add to it from his life experiences.  I wonder if by knowing the causes of this mighty ocean of unhappiness, and steering properly by means of positive and active efforts to overturn the many causes of unhappiness, and see the light, the one that can and must be attained by all Mankind to turn this mighty ocean of unhappiness into a sea of happiness.